Wenn ich es ganz kurz zusammenfassen sollte, würde ich sagen: Tolkien akzeptiert durchaus dass Leute in außergewöhnlichen Situationen (zum Beispiel in einem Krieg) außergewöhnliche Dinge tun, dass also beispielsweise Eowyn in den Krieg zieht. An seinem grundsätzlichen Verständnis davon was die naturgegebene Rollenverteilung ist ändert das allerdings nichts, es bestätigt das eher: "Ausnahmen bestätigen die Regel". - Ich habe eben etwas nachgelesen weil ich ein passendes Zitat dazu heraussuchen wollte und bin dabei auf eine komplette Textseite gestoßen die sehr viel über Tolkiens Frauenbild aussagt. Ich setze die jetzt einfach mal im Original hier rein. Es ist die Eowyn-Faramir-Szene aus dem Kapitel "The Steward and the King".
... Éowyn, do you not love me, or will you not?"
"I wished to be loved by another", she answered. "But I desire no man's pity."
"That I know", he said. "You desired to have the love of the Lord Aragorn. Because he was high and puissant, and you wished to have renown and glory and to be lifted far above the mean things that crawl on the earth. And as a great captain may to a young soldier he seemed to you admirable. For so he is, a lord among men, the greatest that now is. But when he gave you only understanding and pity, then you desired to have nothing, unless a brave death in battle. Look at me, Éowyn!"
And Éowyn looked at Faramir long und steadily; and Faramir said: "Do not scorn pity that is the gift of a gentle heart, Éowyn! But I do no offer you my pity. For you are a lady high and valiant and have yourself won renown that shall not be forgotten; and you are a lady beautiful, I deem, beyond even the words of the Elven-tongue to tell. And I love you. Once I pitied your sorrow. But now, were you sorrowless, without fear or any lack, were you the blissful Queen of Gondor, still I would love you. Éowyn, do you not love me?"
Then the heart of Éowyn changed, or else at last she understood it. And suddenly her winter passed, and the sun shone on her.
"I stand in Minas Anor, the Tower of the Sun", she said; "and behold! the Shadow has departed! I will be a shieldmaiden no longer, nor vie with the great Riders, nor take joy only in the songs of slaying. I will be a healer, and love all things that grow and are not barren." And again she looked at Faramir. "No longer do I desire to be a queen", she said.
Then Faramir laughed merrily. "That is well", he said; "for I am not a king. Yet I will wed with the White Lady of Rohan, if it be her will. And if she will, then let us cross the River and in happier days let uns dwell in fair Ithilien and there make a garden. All things will grow with joy there, if the White Lady comes."
"Then must I leave my own people, man of Gondor?" she said. "And would you have your proud folk say to you: There goes a lord who tamed a wild shieldmaiden of the North! Was there no woman of the race of Númenor to choose?"
"I would", said Faramir. And he took her in his arms and kissed her under the sunlit sky, and he cared not that they stood high upon the walls in the sight of many. And many indeed saw them and the light that shone about them as they came down from the walls and went hand in hand to the Houses of Healing.
And to the Warden of the Houses Faramir said: "Here is the Lady Éowyn of Rohan, and now she is healed."